Why do I feel so angry?
It's easy to feel frustrated and angry with someone who's making drugs or drink the priority in their life. It's easy to think “If only I hadn't...” or “If only I had...” That way you start blaming yourself for things that are, in reality, the responsibility of the person with the drink or drug problem.
Alongside this process, it's very likely you are picking up some of the emotional turmoil belonging to the person with the problem. It may be that pain, anger and frustration are part of daily life for that person, except that using a lot of drugs or alcohol means they don't have the misery of feeling it.
Meanwhile, without the luxury of a daily anaesthetic (alcohol or drugs) to dull the pain, you may be absorbing some of this turmoil yourself.
Professionals who work with drink and drugs misusers take care to recognize this process, deal with it, and minimize the chance of being adversely affected. You can do the same.
The more effort you put into persuading the substance misuser to do something about their problem, the more they sometimes dig their heels in.
But the more you put into your own process of change and healing, the more likely it becomes that the other person can begin to follow suit
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